I don’t enjoy Hitman anymore

Last time I wrote about Hitman was December 8th, 2017, when I shared my thoughts on the second issue of the Agent 47: Birth of the Hitman comic. You might not know something about that piece — I absolutely despise it. Writing and publishing it hurt, and at that point I decided that there was no point in me delving deeper into the subject matter as the source material wasn’t enjoyable enough for me to keep writing about it. Hell, it wasn’t even “so bad it’s good” — a concept I used many times in the past when covering the Hitman media, the movies in particular. It was pathetic and I felt the same way publishing the article. It was foul. It was hurtful. But it was honest and you, the community, deserve nothing less.

Since then, I published a few more Hitman-related pieces. A Classic Hit was my rendition of a traditional sniper assassination seen in the franchise. The Hitman as I saw it and how I always thought about it. I was grasping at what the series was for me. I summarized HITMAN 6, as a celebration of the second anniversary of what led to the inception of this blog. Despite me trying to be as objective as I could, many of you said that me despising the game shines through it — and I’m not proud of that. Firing the Torpedo was a fun April Fools. And a one I teased long before. It was a treat. And it helped me brighten the mood a little. But it was just a faint light. Like a candle that’s about to go out. And at last, there was Hitman’s Best Levels According to the Series’ Community — a record-breaking piece which, granted, I didn’t even fully write. And if you ever wondered why I didn’t include my own entry, the answer is quite simple: I don’t want to write about Hitman anymore.

Yes, I was waiting for HITMAN 7, or as we now know it — HITMAN 2 [insert_shrug_emoji]. I was curious and wanted to be pleasantly surprised. I wasn’t. The tone completely switched from the grim and heavy themes I was always associating the series with to a slapfest of literally slapping people in the face with a fish. Great. In one mere moment, the last grasps of interest I had in the franchise fell through. My Internet persona had me write a few last over-the-top messages, as I knew I could do it once more. I was known for that. But after that, it only felt proper to finally give it a rest. So that’s what I ended up doing. Gradually. It hurt. The series means a lot to me. From being my metaphorical escape from reality to being a real one as I got to travel to Copenhagen to spend a few amazing days in a break between probably one of the worst periods of my life. I unsubscribed from the Hitman social media pages. I unfollowed the subreddit which I cherished so much. I muted the Hitman category on the Discord server I moderate. I stopped wearing my Hitman T-shirts. I was done.

Since finishing up that last proper Hitman piece, a lot has changed in my life. I became independent. I moved to a large city, I live on my own with my two cats — Toffi and Frisk — and I work in game dev at CD PROJEKT RED. I still keep up with the community; you can find me on Discord all the time. Most importantly, I’m in a relationship. With a person whom I’ve met over two years ago at this point and thanks to Hitman. I’m in love with a wonderful person from this very community. And I’m friends with so many others. But my interest in Hitman is done, as of the reveal of HITMAN 2. I tried, I truly did. But every time I find myself disliking the new things more and more. Recently, I finally got myself to watch the HITMAN Sniper Assassin gameplay. My conclusion? We went from questioning mortality and morality of contract killing to two people sharing condescending jokes as they pop heads, one after another. So, I disassembled my Hitman shrine and stored it in a cupboard, to find new life.

Maybe one day I’ll be forced to go back and dig up the past once again but, for now, it doesn’t seem likely. Things hurt. It’s no one’s fault. I’m happy that IO still exists, despite what’s happened. I’m happy they made this miracle happen.

The Hitman Lore Expert was there to pick and win battles. White now wants to settle in peace.

After months of completely cutting myself off from the series, a gamescom 2018 HITMAN 2 white duck was given to me by a member of the CDPR team who attended the event. For a bizarre reason, it made me happy.

 

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Epilogue

Nothing really interesting here, I’d just like to thank you for reading all of these words I’ve written over the past month! Those were a lot of words! I am happy to teach people something about the Hitman franchise. Maybe even something you didn’t know. I am especially thankful for the people over at /r/Hitman who inspired me to finish working on this piece after some personal matters happening in my life, obviously Mr. HHCHunter, the guys over at HitmanForum where I’m coming back to lurk and the team at IO Interactive. Most importantly Travis and Nick who are in the unfortunate position of having to read stuff people write on the internet.

You know, if you ever need a lore expert at IO, you know where to find me. I know you’re reading this, Travis!

Also thank you to StealthClobber over at Reddit who caught a mistake I made during my insomnia-induced Enemy Within research at 3 AM. I knew I was gonna fuck something up!

From more personal thanks – thank you to someone that knows who they are for dealing with my Hitman nerdgasms every once and a while and to Mr. Chappy. If you’ll ever read this, I miss ya, buddy.

Oh, and I don’t hate Absolution. It’s a great game. A fantastic cover-based stealth game. It’s just a horrible Hitman game. And it has a terrible story.

Let’s all hope that the new game won’t completely destroy the lore and won’t leave us with another Absolution or… even worse… Damnation. It can’t be **that** bad right?… what? THEY CHANGED 47’S FACE AND HIS SILVERBALLERS?!!…

…thank you, guys and gals… I’ll… I’ll be back… maybe… hopefully…

This is White, signing out.